Every day as a real estate broker, I see boxes—literal ones packed tightly with belongings, ready to be moved from one home to another. Boxes serve a purpose: they protect, organize, and transport our possessions safely. Yet, beyond these physical containers, there exists another kind of box—one far less visible but far more confining.
These invisible boxes are made of expectations, judgments, and roles assigned to us by society, family, and even ourselves. The “good girl” box, the career box, the ethnicity box, the dutiful spouse box—the list goes on. We often slip unknowingly into these containers, shaping ourselves around what others expect rather than who we truly are. Over time, this communal identity can swallow our authentic self, leaving us feeling trapped.
The Question of Identity: Who Am I?
One of my earliest memories of wrestling with this confinement took place at the age of twelve. I would lie across my bed on a hot Florida afternoon and ask myself quietly, “Who am I?” I would run a hand along my body, questioning if I still was “me” without this foot, that arm, or even my thoughts and feelings.
Each time, I concluded: the “I” inside me was not my body, nor my thoughts, nor my emotions. Yet, this realization only deepened my confusion. If I was none of those things, why was my true self constantly judged by them? Why was my worth so often measured by what my body did, what I thought, or how I felt?
This internal box felt suffocating—a tight prison that seemed impossible to escape.
Boxes Are Meant to Be Broken
Physical boxes are temporary by nature. Their walls are thin, meant to be flattened and discarded when no longer needed. Yet, invisible boxes, the ones built from society’s expectations and internalized beliefs, can feel permanent. Many of us nestle comfortably inside them, fearful of the freedom that lies beyond their familiar walls.
The longer we stay in these boxes, the more they become our perceived reality. We forget they are constructs, not truths. Sometimes, life jolts us awake—reminding us we are living in a staged reality, much like Jim Carrey’s character in The Truman Show, blissfully unaware of the set around him.
The Call of the Inner Child
In my home office, I keep a photograph of a little girl drenched in rain, her face radiant with pure joy. Across the image, words ask: “Remember her? She is still there… inside you… waiting… let’s go get her.” This photo has accompanied me for years, a silent invitation to reconnect with the unfiltered essence of myself.
That invitation became impossible to ignore one August afternoon when a hurricane approached Florida. With the power out, I lit candles and brought out boxes of old photos—memories frozen in time. Sorting through them, I discovered a faded picture of myself at age four, captured mid-wave at the beach, innocence shining through.
The shock was visceral. Holding the photo, I realized that radiant, joyful child was me—the same girl from the rain-soaked photo, waiting to be remembered.
The Journey Beyond the Boxes
That summer marked the beginning of a deep self-discovery journey. Through meditation, journaling, and reflection, I confronted the boxes I had unknowingly stepped into over the years. I recognized patterns where I had surrendered my voice and spirit to fit expectations that no longer served me.
Breaking free from these boxes required courage—a willingness to face discomfort and reclaim my truth. But beyond the walls of limitation lay freedom: the chance to live authentically, guided by my inner child’s joyful spirit.
Why This Matters
We all carry invisible boxes—some socially imposed, others self-constructed. Recognizing these confines is the first step toward dismantling them. Like physical boxes, they are temporary. They are not the sum total of who we are.
When we break down these barriers, we return to the core of our being. We reconnect with that pure essence, untainted by external labels or judgments. We reclaim the freedom to express, explore, and evolve.
An Invitation
Take a moment today to ask yourself: What boxes have I been living in? Which ones no longer serve me? And who is waiting inside, eager to be rediscovered?
Let the image of that joyful, unfiltered child within you guide the way. The boxes may feel real, but they are made to be broken.
Betsy Pepine is a trailblazer in real estate and entrepreneurship, celebrated for her visionary leadership and dedication to authentic living. She is the founder and CEO of Pepine Realty, one of the nation’s most respected real estate firms.
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