As I sit in a small hospital room, the steady drip of chemotherapy flowing through my veins, I find myself drawn not to fear or despair, but to awe. This treatment, born of decades of human ingenuity and compassion, is more than just medicine—it is a profound expression of human energy at its most creative and loving.
My journey here has been marked by challenge. The cancer that once invaded my bladder was surgically removed, but it has since spread, claiming new territory in my lungs and threatening my kidneys. Just yesterday, I underwent surgery to create a fistula in my left arm—a connection of artery to vein designed to serve as a “docking port” for potential dialysis in the future. As I recovered from this procedure, my thoughts wandered to the remarkable minds and hearts behind such medical breakthroughs.
Fistulas, in a natural sense, occur pathologically—unwanted connections between hollow organs. But the fistula in my arm is no accident; it is the result of decades of medical research and trial, innovation born from countless efforts to help those with kidney failure. The specific technique used today dates back to the 1960s, yet it is the culmination of centuries of collective human experience, compassion, and perseverance.
Lying in bed that night, I held space for gratitude. I visualized my arm filled with Light—not merely blood, but the bright pulse of human dedication, skill, and love that made this possible. This light was not limited to the surgery. The chemotherapy itself, that complex cocktail of chemicals designed to fight the relentless cancer cells, represents the work of many hands and many souls devoted to alleviating human suffering.
It is easy, in the face of so much suffering and hardship in the world, to feel overwhelmed by the darker side of humanity—the violence, the greed, the cruelty splashed across our newsfeeds daily. Yet, there is another story, often quieter but just as real and powerful: the story of human creativity, care, and the ceaseless striving to heal and protect one another.
This is the story that I found myself immersed in as I prepared to receive treatment. Beneath the clinical walls of this hospital room, I felt an invisible network of energy—of countless scientists, doctors, nurses, researchers, and caregivers—all dedicated to making life better and safer for those like me.
My relationship with my physical body has always been complex. The spiritual path I have walked for many years, teaching what I call “Incarnational Spirituality,” has involved learning how to live deeply in this physical form—a task not always easy for someone attuned to subtler, spiritual realities. This battle with cancer has been another chapter in that lifelong dialogue between spirit and flesh.
I confess, I would much rather be healthy. Illness is no one’s desire. Yet this illness has become, unexpectedly, a portal—a doorway into a deeper appreciation of the vast web of human endeavor that supports healing. It has transformed my understanding of chemotherapy and surgery from poison and pain to Light and possibility.
When we think of the pharmaceutical industry, our minds often jump to criticism and skepticism. And while it is true that the business of medicine is fraught with problems, it is vital to remember the human hearts behind the science—the call to service that motivates so many to push boundaries in the fight against disease.
In this moment, I take into my body not just chemicals, but the essence of collective human love and intelligence, flowing through decades of effort and sacrifice. This realization deepens my connection to our species—a species strange and struggling, yes, but also capable of immense beauty.
So as I undergo treatment, I hold this vision: a recognition that every healing act—no matter how clinical or technological—is also an expression of the radiant human spirit. And in that spirit, I find hope, gratitude, and a profound love for the interconnectedness of all life.
David Spangler is a spiritual teacher and founding member of Lorian, an organization dedicated to exploring the sacred in everyday life. His work invites us to embrace incarnation fully, honoring both spirit and body.
